Monday, November 9, 2009
With her caring hands she covered her only child with the thick blanket and gave her a kiss on the forehead. As soon as the hot coffee was delivered she immediately immersed the patchi chocolate in the cup and offered to her daughter. The aroma filled the the room. It was very enticing I could stop from what I was doing, smell its addicting odor instead.
"We are not mother and daughter". she said.
"We are friends". She added.
Wow! I always admire a mother and a daughter whose getting along very well. It makes me miss my mom more. We used to have our hair done together, forgot about the figure and ate a bunchful of pasta paella, she patiently woke up ahead of me to prepare for breakfast and my "baon". Those were the most awesome bondings we had that is worth to treasure.
The love of a mother to her child is the most amazing thing in the world. It knows no race nor culture.
11.08.09 - the first person who gave me a cup of coffee was a Saudi Princess! How cool is that???
"We are not mother and daughter". she said.
"We are friends". She added.
Wow! I always admire a mother and a daughter whose getting along very well. It makes me miss my mom more. We used to have our hair done together, forgot about the figure and ate a bunchful of pasta paella, she patiently woke up ahead of me to prepare for breakfast and my "baon". Those were the most awesome bondings we had that is worth to treasure.
The love of a mother to her child is the most amazing thing in the world. It knows no race nor culture.
11.08.09 - the first person who gave me a cup of coffee was a Saudi Princess! How cool is that???
Monday, October 19, 2009
The government have just declared an emergency situation. An ordinary day had turned out to be something odd. The surrounding is getting darker and darker. Everyone is rushing to nowhere hoping they could flee from the indescribable heat. Picking every possible supplies they could carry along to their aimed spot. The people are yelling at each other, patience were lost leading to fights, barricades are set, vehicles jamming, cars honking, accidents everywhere, and an enormous fire from a distance can be seen. How could that possibly be? That out of the blue this ball of fire is emitting an intolerable suffering. The night is engulfing the day yet the scorching heat coming from the sun remains.
That was a scene from the movie Knowing which stars Nicolas Cage. I am not really a big fan of pirated movies and it disappoints me to see an unclear dvd copy. Yet my curiosity was captured by this one. What if you can actually predict the future? In this case, what if you just have figured out that the end of the world will be today, October 19, 2009 (as what the movie have showed)? What will you feel? Are you ready? I am not ready.The sky suddenly opens and reveals a gigantic ball-like structure. A very bright light comes from it as it opens. Could he be God the Father? What will I tell him? Will He let me come in before the earth will finally be perished? Or He'll tell me that I don't belong to the chosen ones? Honestly, I don't know and perhaps I do not really deserve to be one of them. I am a sinner.
As a child, I have sinned. Yes, I was attending Sunday Schools yet I was never been a good follower of Christ. I probably had attended merely because I wanted to see my crush way back in elementary or because of the snacks, the colorful easter eggs, the Christmas presentations and the field trips. I was a playmate you wouldn't want to have. I once planned out of the blue to trip somebody but she tripped right before I fulfilled my evil plan. When my grades dropped big time I tampered my report card so that my father won't beat me. I just wonder why my teacher wasn't able to recognize it?
As a young adult, I have sinned. I used to escape and lie from my father so I could come with my friends to outings. I hated those boys who teased me because of my mole and cursed them to vanish in the face of the earth. I overcharged my tuition fee and books so I can have extra money and spend extravagantly. Church was never my hang-out. I seldom give to beggars and was not a part of any socio-civic organizations that helps the needy.
As an adult, I have sinned. I jumped in the sack, I rolled in the hay. Fornication is the mortal sin that I am guilty of. In this world where premarital sex is near to acceptance, when almost everybody is doing the act, when you are old-fashioned if you hadn't tried it even once, when your peers laugh at you having discovered your still a virgin at the age of 21, I may gather raise of eyebrows but I still wish I never did it. I am a sinner and that reverberates in my whole entity.
The monstrous fire from the sun eats everything on its way. The skyscrapers disappeared in an instant and the tiniest crawling insect vanished in a blink of an eye. Ruthless as it is, it swallowed the blue planet not sparing the suffering humans.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I have in my hands two boxes which God gave me. He said,
"Put your sorrows in the black box and all your joys in the gold".
I obeyed and in the boxes both my sorrows and joys are stored. The gold became heavier but the black is as light as ever. When I opened the black box it had a hole at the bottom. I asked God where my sorrows went. God said it was all with Him. I asked God why the box had a hole. He said,
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go"
Korek! Absolutely right! Instead of dwelling on sad things in life jumpjumpjump for joy ka na lang...Mas masarap tumawa kesa magpaka-emo.
The Baretto Sisters (Kapalmux Edition):
Marjorie
Claudine
Korek! Absolutely right! Instead of dwelling on sad things in life jumpjumpjump for joy ka na lang...Mas masarap tumawa kesa magpaka-emo.
The Baretto Sisters (Kapalmux Edition):
Marjorie
Claudine
Gretchen
Live.Laugh.Love
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Nakahiga. Nakatulala. Walang ginagawa.
Nakapikit. Nag-iisip. Tahimik.
Naiinis. Naghihinagpis. Tumatangis.
Minsan ko nang sinubok na sakyan ang iyong kagustuhan mapasaya ka lamang. Nilunok ang hiya, nagpaubaya at binali ang matatag na paniniwala. Naging maayos ang ating pagsasama, tila ba walang problema. Batid kong mali ngunit hinikayat ko ang aking sarili na tama ang aking ginagawa. Mali man sa paningin ng iba, magalit man ang aking pamilya, ngunit patuloy pa rin ako dahil nga mahal kita. Ganoon ba talaga kapag umibig? Sampung aral at mabuting asal ay dagliang pumapanaw? O bunga lang ito ng primitibo kong pananaw? Magkagayon man, hindi ito ang aking inaasahan.
Ayokong matawag na ipokrita at lalo ng mabansagang santa-santita. Ngunit ano ang aking magagawa kung madalas sumapi sa akin ang kaluluwa ni Maria Clara? Isama mo na rin si Laura. Hindi man ako naka-baro't saya na pagkahaba-haba, wala ring pamaypay na dala ngunit sa dugo ko may bahid pa rin ng pagkamanang ni Lola. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko na talaga kaya.
Kaya patawarin mo ako moderno kong Crisostomo Ibarra kung sa darating na mga araw ako'y maglalahong parang bula. Ako man ay mawala, hindi ito nangangahulugang pag-ibig ko rin ay sumama. Mahal kita walang duda. Kailangan ko lang linisin ang nadumihang pag-iisip, lumanghap ng sariwang hangin, at magmuni-muni sa mga bagay na nagpapaligalig sa akin. Nawa'y hindi ka magalit o magdamdam. Dahil kung ikaw ay masasaktan, dobleng sakit naman ang aking mararamdaman.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Hindi totoong hindi na kita mahal. Mahal kita tulad pa rin ng dati. Mahal na mahal kahit pa nga hindi ko alam baka bungal ka, kahit pa alam kong magkaibang-magkaiba tayo ng paniniwala sa ilang mga bagay-bagay na madalas pang ikinakainsecure mo, kahit pa nga may mga bagay na ayoko at ikinakatampo mo. Mahal kita kaya patuloy pa rin ako.
Close enough. Close enough kasi slightly tama ka. Sa totoo lang nahihirapan na ako. Baka nga ikaw din hirap na. Nakakapagod na rin pala ang ganitong routine.
Gigising ako,
mag-uusap tayo,
good afternoon,
magpipreppy na ako,
kakain na ako, magbabrush na ako.
O sige mag-i-scan lang ako ng socks,
naban yung ip address ko,
yung webcam mo,
sorry kinausap lang ako ni archie,
tatayo muna ako may maglalaro,
maganda to idownload mo.
Huhuhu late na ako,
Papasok na'ko ha
damihan mo offline messages mo ha,
Out na ako, i really gotta go.
Tell me when was the last time we talked
The one that led to a never ending bliss
The talk that left us giggling
It may be the lousiest yet made us laughing till our breaths burn out
Please remind me for my brain can barely recall the moment
They are forgotten as it is so hard to dig
You've been missing those talks as well aren't you?
I know how you crave for that day to finally come
You and I, only you and I in each other's arms
That will be so much fun
I wonder how you look?
Is your face as fragile as an innocent infant?
How does your skin feel next to mine?
Is your touch as delicate as a soft breeze from the ocean?
How's the fragrance emanating from you be like?
Will it linger in my nostril down to my lungs like a sweet potion I could not resist?
They are nothing but mere petty queries in my mind, waiting to be of known...
and will be left unknown, I guess.
As much as you feel that I don't love you anymore, ganun din ang nararamdaman ko. Alam kong magtatampo ka sakaling sabihin ko sayong hindi mo ako mahal. Babalik pa sa akin ang tanong at mapaparatangang nagdududa. Paratangan mo man ako, gusto ko pa ring malaman. Pagmamahal bang maituturing ang hindi pagtawag o pagtext man lang? Sabagay kasalanan ko, wala kasi akong roaming..mahal! So, mahal pala ang pagmamahal? Pagmamahal ba na alam mong nasasaktan ako, hindi mo pa rin nagawang tumawag? So, tama mahal nga na magmahal. Ang babaw ko talaga..hindi lang nakatawag nagdadrama na.
Pero isipin mo to, kung gusto maraming paraan, kung ayaw maraming dahilan. Pilit kong inuunawa kung ano man ang dapat na unawain. Ilang beses na rin akong nagtangkang sabihin sayo ang dapat mang sabihin. Ngunit sadya talagang napipipi ako. Mahina rin siguro, oo.
Tulungan mo naman ako, Ayoko to. Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. Ayoko na emo ako. Ayokong malungkot. Help me, I don't wanna fall out of love with you.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Strawberry Cake. Courtesy of my house mates. Ako ang taong hindi mahilig sa surprises kaya siguro hindi na nila ako sinurprise at weeks before my birthday alam ko ng bibilhan nila ako ng cake. Sana nga raw para maiba naman hindi sila nabili para mas nasurprise ako. Pasaway!
Small Coffee Cake. Courtesy of Ligaya and Madzuper. Yum-yum-yum to the millionth power. Nakakatuwa naman kasi alam nilang mag-asawa na mahilig ako sa coffee-flavored foods. Ako nga si iced coffee diba? Sinadyang maliit kasi bawal sa health..What the heck! walang bawal-bawal..masarap eh! Hmmm the aroma..
Stuffed Toy with Toblerone. Courtesy of Temerz. Alam kaya niyang hindi ako mahilig sa stuffed toys at bawal na sa akin ng shokoleyrts?.. Hahaha malamang hindi. Anyways thank you pa rin te merz..i appreciate it a lot..mmwah!..
Shelley's Balloon flowers. Courtesy of Shelley's imagination!..Nagpalono kami ni Ezzie ng balloons 2 days ago. Pagtripan ba naman ni Shelley? Akala ko flower nga. Huwag ko na lang daw baliktarin baka kasi green minded ako. E binaliktad ko?
So many testicles. What the heck! So many testicles! Ano yan mutant? nakakatakot!..Pasaway ang babaitang yun!. Jusko po 'yung kulay white??? Parang ikamamatay mo. Crazy. hahaha! Dumihan ba naman ang utak kong blanko.
(Picture to follow, di ko maaala kung kaninong cam napunta yung pic)
Simple Math. Pare-pareho kaming lumaki ang mata at napalunok ng makita kung gaano karami ang nabili ni mama shai. Take note 11 lang kami sa bahay at kung isasama sa bilang ang mga leave-out magiging 15 + si Madzuper and Temerz magiging 17 minus Pan kasi kahit pang sabihing "halika ate, join us ay di talaga sasama" (ok so what?), minus Tidiber dahil dakilang sunud-sunuran kay Pan so equals 15. 15 lang kami pero ang binili ng butihin kong nanay-nanayan ay good for 30-40 persons. Sayang kung di mauubos. Its so crazy I had to call anyone on my phone book so they could drop by our flat just to help us with the food. Bawal naman kasi lalaki rito kaya di ko na rin ininvite ang tito ko pero kailangan kaya tinawagan ko na, si kuya nappy, at si kapzkilz. Yikes! Kung sana lang pwedeng ipamahagi sa kahit dalawang pamilya lang na nasalanta ni Ondoy, I will go through the trouble just to be of help :(
Sweet Revenge. Courtesy of Pan and teBD. Is the golden rule "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you" applicable here? Well, I might have been very bad with them on their birthday because I didn't even bother to greet them. Actually hindi lang naman ako ang hindi bumati sa kanila, marami kami. Eh sa hindi namin feel na batiin sila e?.. Ayaw namin ang attitude nila, ayoko sa kanila. Pan have done something that will make you wonder. May ganoon palang kalseng tao sa mundo? Ayokong pilitin ang sarili ko na magpakaplastic for the sake of their birthday. Nagkataon lang na ako ang unang sumunod na magbirthday kaya ako ang nabuntunan. So, I guess I had the taste of my own medicine. The difference is this one is a lot bitter. Grabe si Pan and teBD! Alam na ngang nagprepare ako ng dinner for all, niyaya ba naman ang dalawang bago na mag-Tasaj! Siyemre sunod naman sila bago kasi senior nila si Pan sa OR. What the F*ck! Nananadya talaga. Ooo-oo pa si TeBD na magdropby sa flat. Deym! Anyways, masaya naman kami kahit wala sila.
Solved. Ayan taob na. solve na solve sila. ehehehe..naipatake-out na yung iba sayang kasi and naligpit na rin sa fridge yung mga naiwan, baka mapanis lang. Nood sila ng The Grudge sa MBC sus mga takot naman lalakas magsipagtilian.
Special thanks. Curacho di ko sadyang andito ka na naman sa post ko na to. Ooopps! Nagkataon lang talaga ok? 12:03am September 27, just when I thought you would not remember dahil nga alzheimer's ka (nyahaha) however you were the first person to greet me after midnight. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart na katabi ang esophagus na di na masakit.
Sentiment of a Spender. Dalawang midnight ang pinalampas pero nabili pa rin. Spender nga! Bakit ba laging di ko nakukuha ang gusto kong romantic or kahit na on-time na lang na greetings? Three consecutive years na ha? OA na to..Pero dahil nga spender ako, hayun bumenta. nabili. Daig pa ang sale sa City Plaza.
Solemn wish. Solemn, silent, secret. Akin na lang yung wish ko. Gosh 25 na ko tumatanda na...haaaay...Live, laugh, love. Bawal ang emo! Be happy mj, be happy.
Special thanks. Curacho di ko sadyang andito ka na naman sa post ko na to. Ooopps! Nagkataon lang talaga ok? 12:03am September 27, just when I thought you would not remember dahil nga alzheimer's ka (nyahaha) however you were the first person to greet me after midnight. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart na katabi ang esophagus na di na masakit.
Sentiment of a Spender. Dalawang midnight ang pinalampas pero nabili pa rin. Spender nga! Bakit ba laging di ko nakukuha ang gusto kong romantic or kahit na on-time na lang na greetings? Three consecutive years na ha? OA na to..Pero dahil nga spender ako, hayun bumenta. nabili. Daig pa ang sale sa City Plaza.
Solemn wish. Solemn, silent, secret. Akin na lang yung wish ko. Gosh 25 na ko tumatanda na...haaaay...Live, laugh, love. Bawal ang emo! Be happy mj, be happy.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I will be twenty-five tomorrow
Embrace me tightly my folks
Virtue, moral, and dignity
From you they are my legacy
I will be twenty-five tomorrow
I'm gonna wait for my negro
Love, trust, and hope
Can we just go elope
I will be twenty-five tomorrow
Knock till you can't you loco
Lost, faded, vanished
That is you
I will be twenty-five tomorrow
Continue the guidance Dear Father
Life, life, life
Gratitude I offer, I owe it all to you
I will be twenty-five tomorrow
I'm gonna celebrate it with you
Laugh, dance and sing
Who cares if we will be merry-making
I will be twenty-five.
live.
laugh.
love.
as if there is no tomorrow.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Masarap ang bawal.
Ngunit kung ikaw na ay hahatulan,
wag kang mag-inarte d'yan!
Problema mo ba?
Nasarapan ka naman di ba?
When the cat is away, the mouse werewolf will play.
At kapag nahuli, magpacute na lang at sabihing;
"Andiyan ka na pala, ang tagal mo kasi baby"
Huwag ka maghanap ng ikasasama ng loob sabi ni tatay.
May mga teknolohiyang ginawa para gumaan ang buhay.
Hindi para pagsimulan ng away.
Huwag mo na ring ibahagi sa kasambahay.
Dahil kapag sila nag-away, pati ikaw damay.
Kapag sinabi niya sayo na; "Ayoko niyan baby",
Huwag mawalan ng pag-asa, may bukas pa.
Kulitin mo na lang siya bukra, 'yun e kung may bukas pa talaga.
Ang father ng Socratic method eh si Socrates.
Sa Platonic love naman si Plato.
Eh sa Hippocracy? Si Hippocrates ba?
Hindi lahat ng tao maiintindihan ka,
Ok lang 'yun, sila naiintindihan mo ba?
Kung di siya naglilinis ng bahay,
Hayaan mo na lang, 'wag na itaas ang kilay.
Kapag nagkaroon ng ipis at daga, siya naman unang mamamaga.
Kung magbabasa ka at tutulugan lang,
huwag sa sala,
Baka lumabas si Bitoy at sabihing: "YaRica!"
Kapag sinabing matulog ka na, matulog ka na.
Tama na ang pag-aadik, may bukas pa!
***photo credits here***
Monday, September 21, 2009
Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream he said
The one that makes me laugh he said
And threw his arms around my neck
Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you
Nagising ako sa mahinang kanta ni Indi. Akala ko alarm 'yun para sa pag-inom ko ng gamot, si madir pala tumatawag.
madir: kumusta na?..
ako: hindi ok ma..
madir: bakit napano ka?
ako: mama magwa-1 week na akong may GERD napakasakit. ang hirap hirap..di ako makakain ng maayos, mahirap huminga, konting galaw masakit, pag nakahiga mas masakit kaya mukha akong adik kulang sa tulog. mama ko ang sakit sakit talaga huwaaaaaaaaaa...sinugod nga ako sa ER noong sabado kasi naiyak na talaga ako sa sobrang sakit. pero slight lang yung iyak ko mama ha kasi nakakahiya e wa poise..at chaka iiyak na nga lang ako may nakakakadagdag pa ng sakit kaya wag na lang umiyak diba? pero promise mama super mega over sakit. :((
Actually hindi ko nasabi yan, eto talaga ang nangyari:
madir: kumusta na?..
ako: ok lang ako ma..
madir: bakasyon nyo na?
ako: opo
madir: bakit ang hina ng boses mo nak, lakasan mo naman konti?
ako: tulog pa po si Ezzie e (palusot)
madir: Ok...eto si papa kakausapin ka raw..
padir: anak miss na kita bakit di ka nagreply nagtext ako sayo nung friday.
ako: i miss you too pa, eh wala naman po akong nareceive e.
padir: ay nagtxt ako.
ako: wala po talaga.
padir: bakit matamlay ka?
ako: wala naman po.
padir: may boyfriend ka na ba diyan?
ako: wala po no. (hindi nila alam na may boyfriend ako at sa chat ko lang nakilala ni hindi pa
nakikita, di nila maiintindhan yun, pano ko ipapaliwanag, kaya wala na lang..)
padir: ah kaya ka siguro matamlay hahaha..
ako: hahahaha pasaway ka pa!
Pinigil ko ang sarili kong tumawag sa Pinas nitong mga nakaraang araw.
Magaling si madir, sa boses ko pa lang alam niya kung may problema.
Ayokong mag-alala sila, ayokong tumaas ang blood pressure niya pag nalamang hindi ako ok.
Ngayon ko napatunayan na mahirap pala talaga magkasakit nang malayo sa pamilya.
Hindi naman talaga ako iyakin, at hindi rin emo pero tinamaan ako!
Nagana pa pala ang lacrimal glands ko na akala ko naglaho na.
Napaiyak ako noong nakaraang sabado.
Naiyak ako sa pisikal na sakit dulot ng GERD na ito,
ngunit mas nakakaiyak ang sakit na dulot ng pagkalayo sa pamilya ko.
Oo naawa ako sa sarili ko.
Gustuhin ko mang yakapin si madir maibsan man lang ang sakit pero papaano?
Gusto kong hilutin ni padir. Para kasi siyang may magic, kapag may lagnat ako noon, gumagaling agad ako kapag nahilot nya.
Kung dadaing ako paniguradong magpapanic sila. Ayoko. Tama ng ako lang ang nakakaalam.
Kaya fake a smile mj, fake a smile...or make it fake a laugh.
Pero natutuwa naman ako dahil sa kabila ng hirap na pinagdadaanan ko ngayon ay may nagpapasaya sa akin sa katauhan ni curacho. Sa kanya hindi ko kailangan ang "fake a smile". Patok sa akin mga patawa niya kahit pa simpleng smug smiley lang. Alam kaya niya na higit pa sa patawanin ako ang nagagawa niya sa buhay ko ngayon? Dahil kay curacho narealize ko na paramdam ito ni Big Bro. Tama siya. Medyo hindi na nga ako nakikipagkwentuhan ng masinsinan sa Kanya. Madalas tila "Hi, Hello, Bye" sabay tulog na lang ang ginagawa ko. Napabayaan ko na rin ang rosary na madalas kong hawak habang natutulog kahit pa hindi naman talaga ako nagrorosary. Alam ko nalaglag iyon sa kama pero dahil antok na, di ko man lang pinulot. At 3 weeks ago nang dalawin ko Siya ay hihikab-hikab ako at bahagya pang naiidlip. Nakakahiya ako. Big Bro..I'm so sorry..bati na tayo..
Big Bro babawi ako. At sayo rin Curacho babawi ako..paulanan kita ng shokoleyts pero in moderation lang ang pagkain mo ha..alam mo na masama rin yun diba?
;;
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