Hide and Seek

My friend described the post yesterday as plainly whining and an excuse to leave, well he's right. He's always right that I wanna beat the pants off this guy. Naaaah kidding. Little did I know, I sooner realized something.Why in the world did I whine like that when there are gazillion more positive things that I should be thankful about?

I should be thankful for everything that surrounds me. Ranging from the air that I breathe in which its absence could mean death to the sunshine peeping through the window pane that signals a new day, another chance to live fully. From the chirping bird that kept my sanity intact on that very quiet afternoon to that once in a blue moon rain that I almost forgot the feeling of getting wet by it. From the skyscrapers that I never get the chance to see back home and to the orange to red-orange sand where it is so nice to play. Too many reasons that I can barely narrow to ten.

There's this Indonesian utility man who barely speaks English and yet greets me cheerfully with the only Tagalog words he know in a very odd accent. "Kumusta ka? Malamig wala mainit?". Isn't it cute?  There's this Egyptian accountant who has been very kind to me and my friends since day one. He used to have like only a couple of polo shirt and pants but with my little teasing that he should try different outfits everyday, he changed. From then on he always ask me if the color of his shirt is good. I was even surprised when I told him to wear pink the next day and he did. See how this little appreciation works? There's this colleague/mother figure who has been acting like my second mother providing me everything I want from pandesal to a henna dye because I cannot buy it myself due to transportation problems. There are these kabayans that I get to pass by in the supermarkets, in Batha, everywhere, making me feel as if I'm home. There's this guy whom I considered to be one of my best friends who never fail to send me an offline message or an e-mail even if I fail to do so most of the times. Bet you, he's the only one who knows this hiding place. Think of the people whose considered an outcasts who have been avoided by others because of their differences, their color, their illnesses. The students who get bullied everyday at school. They are longing for a humanly love and care. For this, I am thankful to the people that I mingle with everyday whom also have their own quest in life yet in their own little way, makes mine memorable. 

Hey! I am lucky that the management is kind enough not to lock us in our pad like other clinic and hospital does. We do not even have a curfew for this reason we can go anywhere and anytime we want. Where else in the world will somebody give you a hundred rial simply because they appreciate your work? In the Philippines? No you can't. Oh! I remember I saved a thousand bucks from the free unlimited supply of electricity, water and LPG. I was also spared from the transportation hassle which I have been avoiding. Travelling long hours and the scorching heat going to and fro work is one thing that I really don't like back home. Think of these thousands of people who do not have a job or just have been kicked out. It must have been very difficult for them to undergo job interviews but later on rejected. For this, I am thankful for having this job that despite the meager income I am whining about, still I am fortunate.

I do not have any serious disease that I know of, let it be that way. Think of those people who's been suffering from cancer, those who have been struggling of AIDS, those who have just diagnosed to be an  HIV positive. It must be very hard to see yourself deteriorating gradually, to feel an extreme pain that no medicine can take away. To choose between good health and good looks, I'd rather be healthy. Being healthy is a luxury that no one should ever take for granted. I am thankful that I am healthy.

I never get filthy and hungry simply because I do not have a home to stay, clothes to wear, food to eat and water to bathe. Think of those beggars at street who satisfy their selves from improvising a shanty out of cartons or finding comfort under the bridges. These people who had fallen victims of the natural calamities worldwide and poverty. I have all the necessities that these people have been denied of and for this I am thankful.

I  have wonderful parents and a brother who have been showering me with love since the day they knew about me. They are always there to support me in everything I do, to guide me to the right path, to remind me that everything's gonna be okay, to tap my back whenever I need it, and to do anything for me. Think of those unborn children who were deprived of seeing the world or experience being hugged by their parents, those who were abandoned when they were little and those orphans who can barely remember how their parents look like. For this, I am thankful for having my family.

An education was never denied from me. I am lucky that my parents gave me this with all their capabilities. Think of the people who can't  find a descent job simply because they cannot present a diploma and instead they opted to loiter in streets to gamble just to spare some time or ended as thieves.  For this, I am thankful.

Sometimes it is advisable that we drop everything we do, feel the comfort of silence, breathe some air and reflect on the good fortunes that we actually have rather than contemplating over something. All of these positive things are just there around somewhere waiting to be appreciated and get noticed. Even the simplest of things such as the black cloak that I whined about. It protected me from the undesirable stares of those men who seemed in thirst of seeing a woman. The air condition that keeps you cold despite a very hot summer day, the heater that keeps you warm during winter, the world wide web for saving your ass at school or when boredom strikes, the chat clients that bridges the gap between you and your love ones (all hail the inventor of these technologies), the movies and the music, the malls, your comfortable bed, your cellphone, and everything you can think of. Although there might be some people that you can't stand looking at, it can never outnumber those people who's making a mark in your existence. Smile at them, greet them, make them feel loved. Make them also realize that life is a very precious gift that God has given us. It is too precious to be wasted in dwelling over the negative ones. For my life, I am thankful to God.

Strawberry Cake. Courtesy of my house mates. Ako ang taong hindi mahilig sa surprises kaya siguro hindi na nila ako sinurprise at weeks before my birthday alam ko ng bibilhan nila ako ng cake. Sana nga raw para maiba naman hindi sila nabili para mas nasurprise ako. Pasaway!

Small Coffee Cake. Courtesy of Ligaya and Madzuper. Yum-yum-yum to the millionth power. Nakakatuwa naman kasi alam nilang mag-asawa na mahilig ako sa coffee-flavored foods. Ako nga si iced coffee diba? Sinadyang maliit kasi bawal sa health..What the heck! walang bawal-bawal..masarap eh! Hmmm the aroma..

Stuffed Toy with Toblerone. Courtesy of Temerz. Alam kaya niyang hindi ako mahilig sa stuffed toys at bawal na sa akin ng shokoleyrts?.. Hahaha malamang hindi. Anyways thank you pa rin te merz..i appreciate it a lot..mmwah!..

Shelley's Balloon flowers. Courtesy of Shelley's imagination!..Nagpalono kami ni Ezzie ng balloons 2 days ago. Pagtripan ba naman ni Shelley? Akala ko flower nga. Huwag ko na lang daw baliktarin baka kasi green minded ako. E binaliktad ko?

So many testicles. What the heck! So many testicles! Ano yan mutant? nakakatakot!..Pasaway ang babaitang yun!. Jusko po 'yung kulay white??? Parang ikamamatay mo. Crazy. hahaha! Dumihan ba naman ang utak kong blanko.

(Picture to follow, di ko maaala kung kaninong cam napunta yung pic)

Simple Math. Pare-pareho kaming lumaki ang mata at napalunok ng makita kung gaano karami ang nabili ni mama shai. Take note 11 lang kami sa bahay at kung isasama sa bilang ang mga leave-out magiging 15 + si Madzuper and Temerz magiging 17 minus Pan kasi kahit pang sabihing "halika ate, join us ay di talaga sasama" (ok so what?), minus Tidiber dahil dakilang sunud-sunuran  kay Pan so equals 15. 15 lang kami pero ang binili ng butihin kong nanay-nanayan ay good for 30-40 persons. Sayang kung di mauubos. Its so crazy I had to call anyone on my phone book so they could drop by our flat just to help us with the food. Bawal naman kasi lalaki rito kaya di ko na rin ininvite ang tito ko pero kailangan kaya tinawagan ko na, si kuya nappy, at si kapzkilz. Yikes! Kung sana lang pwedeng ipamahagi sa kahit dalawang pamilya lang na nasalanta ni Ondoy, I will go through the trouble just to be of help :( 

Sweet Revenge. Courtesy of Pan and teBD. Is the golden rule "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you" applicable here? Well, I might have been very bad with them on their birthday because I didn't even bother to greet them. Actually hindi lang naman ako ang hindi bumati sa kanila, marami kami. Eh sa hindi namin feel na batiin sila e?.. Ayaw namin ang attitude nila, ayoko sa kanila. Pan have done something that will make you wonder. May ganoon palang kalseng tao sa mundo? Ayokong pilitin ang sarili ko na magpakaplastic for the sake of their birthday. Nagkataon lang na ako ang unang sumunod na magbirthday kaya ako ang nabuntunan. So, I guess I had the taste of my own medicine. The difference is this one is a lot bitter. Grabe si Pan and teBD! Alam na ngang nagprepare ako ng dinner for all, niyaya ba naman ang dalawang bago na mag-Tasaj! Siyemre sunod naman sila bago kasi senior nila si Pan sa OR. What the F*ck! Nananadya talaga. Ooo-oo pa si TeBD na magdropby sa flat. Deym! Anyways, masaya naman kami kahit wala sila.


Solved. Ayan taob na. solve na solve sila. ehehehe..naipatake-out na yung iba sayang kasi and naligpit na rin sa fridge yung mga naiwan, baka mapanis lang. Nood sila ng The Grudge sa MBC sus mga takot naman lalakas magsipagtilian.


Special thanks. Curacho di ko sadyang andito ka na naman sa post ko na to. Ooopps! Nagkataon lang talaga ok? 12:03am September 27, just when I thought you would not remember dahil nga alzheimer's ka (nyahaha) however you were the first person to greet me after midnight. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart na katabi ang esophagus na di na masakit.


Sentiment of a Spender. Dalawang midnight ang pinalampas pero nabili pa rin. Spender nga! Bakit ba laging di ko nakukuha ang gusto kong romantic or kahit na on-time na lang na greetings? Three consecutive years na ha? OA na to..Pero dahil nga spender ako, hayun bumenta. nabili. Daig pa ang sale sa City Plaza.


Solemn wish. Solemn, silent, secret. Akin na lang yung wish ko. Gosh 25 na ko tumatanda na...haaaay...Live, laugh, love. Bawal ang emo! Be happy mj, be happy.

Ayan na si Jona, papalapit na. Nakakakaba. Bawat hakbang niya ay tila ba unti-unting nagpapalakas ng kabog ng aking puso. Wari'y bolang tatalbog mula sa aking dibdib. Isang hakbang na lang at matutunton niya na ako. Huwag naman sana niyang masilip ang sulok kung saan pilit kong isinisiksik ang munting katawan. Palakas ng palakas ang tibok ng aking puso. Magkahalong kaba at saya ang aking nadarama. Kaba dahil kaunti na lang ako'y kanya ng makikita at saya dahil maaaring lumayo na siya. Lumibot ang kanyang mga mata, hayun at papalayo na. Kaba ko ay dagliang nawala, Ayos! Hindi niya ako nakita. Iba ang kanyang nataya.

Marahil labinglimang taon na ang nakakaraan nang huli akong maglaro ng taguan. Iyon ang panahon na hindi pa uso ang psp, wii, laptop, xbox at iba pang "hi-tech" gadgets sa mga kabataan. Iyon ang mga panahon na patok pa ang patintero, luksong tinik, ten-twenty at habulan. Iyon rin ang panahon na masarap magbabad sa arawan sa kabila ng amoy-araw na mga katawan. Panahon na kahit hindi ako pwedeng maligo sa ulan ay nakakatakas pa rin kung minsan. Hindi ako magaling sa habulan at lalong di ko kayang tumalon ng mataas kaya sa lahat ng larong pambata taguan yata ang pinakanahiligan. May talento ako sa pagtago, kahit sino sa aking mga kalaro ay hirap akong matunton.

Makalipas ang maraming taon, hindi ko inaakalang gagawin ko pa pala ito. Ang magtago. Ang pinagkaiba, hindi ito laro. Bakit ba ako nagtatago? Bakit ayaw kong matunton?

Ikatlong pagtatangka ko na ang gumawa ng blog sa taong ito. Parehong nabigo ang dalawa. Pareho rin ng dahilan kung bakit bigo. Ayaw kong tinutukso niya ako. Ayaw ko ring pagdudahan dahil lang rito. Para wala ng isyu kaya hayun, binura ko. Mahirap. Mabigat sa dibdib. Weird pero sa mga sandaling binubura ko ang mga blog na ito ay tila isang eksena sa pelikula na kung saan nagpapaalam sa isa't isa ang mga bida. May kaunting luha pang nangilid sa aking mga mata. Ang drama.

Tama nga sila. "Once a blogger will always be a blogger". Hindi pa nakakalipas ang isang linggo ay nangangati na ang mga daliri ko. Gustong tipain ang mga letra sa keyboard na ito at ang monitor ay tila ba nangungusap, isang nakakaengganyong paanyaya. Kaya hindi na ako nagpatumpik-tumpik pa. Magbablog ako. Magbablog ako.

Siya na rin mismo ang nagsabing huwag kong sabihin sakaling gumawa ako ulit ng bago. Hindi naman siguro siya magagalit. Hindi naman siguro siya magtatampo.